Relationships----as easy it is to start one, equally difficult is to let go. We meet so many people on the go, some become friends and acquaintances, with not much of our emotions being tampered, while some become more than that, they touch our lives. I used to believe that only people who are same in every respect, their thinking, ideologies, can become close.

I was never a believer of the quaint thought that ‘opposites attract’. How can two people, two different individuals, who would have been brought up in different environments, owing to which they would have ingrained different set of values, different personalities and outlooks towards life, attract? Is it remotely possible that so many differences be just ignored?

 But then there are examples that challenge my thinking. There are instances when a very much reserved, mature individual would meet a very vivacious personality who in the general term would be called an extrovert. The inception of such relationships is actually beautiful. It goes well till the devil called ‘expectations’ creep in. Each one of us has his/her dreams, demands and somewhere deep inside us we all want these expectations to be met. The individuality of the person we would have liked in the beginning steadily fades away in the oblivion paving a new way for differences to reign over our intricate yet so fragile relationship. The differences that would have attracted us in the beginning would become the enemy. We would like to see the other person in just the light we want, completely ignore the fact that the person is another individual and not our own clone.

Then unfortunately in many cases these minute issues outweigh all the love one would have for the other person and break those intricately woven threads of relationship. Relationships are easy to call off, but then what about all the emotions and attachments, the dreams that would have built with it. Is it so easy to just ‘let go’ the other person who would have meant ‘life’ to you? Is it normal to break the so called ‘unusual relationship’ and just get accustomed to the changes of life? Won’t we end up searching all this in the other person we would meet eventually in the journey of life?  

Love ka side effects--- D Big B (break up) and the blah blah blah

Caution: This write up is not for the guys because this is strictly a girl’s perspective. All the stuffs written underneath are the author’s view-point (yeah, yeah mostly based on her experiences—so that probably answers the most obvious question for all the gossip-mongers) and any resemblance to any person/ghosts, living or dead is purely co-incidental.

Deny it or not most of us would have gone through the worst thing and one of the most common things that occurs in a love story---The break-up. And as much the inception of the fairy tale love story would have been beautiful, the end would be equally nightmarish. And in between a conversation with a good friend I got the idea to pen down what I feel are some remedies to the ultimate culmination (if not getting together) – the break up.

Sleep over it----One of the most common mistakes that most of us do after a heated discussion with our boyfriend is recapitulation of the fight. Dah--- now that is one hell of mistake gals. Never-ever think back. Switch off all the main signals of your brain and do what will help you forget the fight-Sleep over it. Take a long relaxing nap, get freshened and grab a tea/coffee/or anything that helps but doesn’t pile up the calories.

Effect- Not that it will solve your issue but in the end you would have had a deep relaxing nap and save yourselves those dirty crow webs under the eyes and dark-circles.

Laugh it loud--- Call your best galfriend with whom you would have shared this ‘fairy tale’ story right from its inception till the end. Cry to her if that helps (but that is only for the first fifteen minutes), vent it out, and cry it loud. Following this should be a good laughter session. Your friend should be capable enough to find as many faults about your boyfriend and even her boyfriend, much better all the men folk on the face of the earth and laugh over those shortcomings. Laugh it loud, roll over. Talk anything but that break-up. Bitch about anything and everything. Find something utterly humorous about your ex’s current GF/fiancé (even if it’s her name) and joke about it.

Effect- You would be laughing and laughter is actually one good exercise for the facial muscles. You would be amazed at your own and your friend’s creative side of laughing on the most non-humorous jokes in the history of the world.  

Go shopping--- This one is not my personal favourite but this is an input from my friend. Go shop gals. Pick up at least one thing- anything-shoe, make-up, clothes.

Effect- Though a costly indulgence, you won’t really regret getting the trendy stuff in your wardrobe. 

Pampering----One of the aftermath one has to suffer after a break up is loneliness- a horribly wretched time when you would be actually missing the pampering, care and affection of your ex.  So what is the solution- simple- going to a parlour or a spa, get that long awaited massage, facial, pedicure, manicure and the likes. Get dressed up, look good. There is no solution coming up from that lonely introspection of what went wrong or who was right and crying over it. Look good, feel good. Get noticed- come on we know we need attention.

Effect- End of the day you will be proud of the beautiful gal facing you in the mirror. There is nothing better than feeling good about you and falling in love with yourself.

Rediscover your 3 A.M. friend--- As it happens in most cases, with your love story getting into your head you would have ignored your best boy-friend (as in friend)/admirer/well-wisher. Accept it or not this world is actually divided into two divisions- Gals and boys. So you actually need that friend from the opposite sex to fill the temporary void left over by your ex (temporary because that phase won’t really last that long lady). No harm in talking, laughing and a little bit flirtations. But please you don’t really need to rush into things and add on to your already existing confusions. Concern shown towards you during a rebound can actually be highly dangerous to you health and prove fatal.

Effect- You would have actually reconnected with your temporarily lost buddy.

These are the few remedies I can gather. Follow it if you like, forget it if you want. Suggestions and additional points are welcome. Displeasures can be kept to yourselves- cause me seriously aint in any mood to take it. 

another year with its changes

Its been a long hiatus that I wrote anything..so thought of making a fresh start in this new year. And when I start writing, its weird that I don't really know what to write. So why not share what I felt or experienced over the interim period of the changing years. The year gone by was a mixed bag, with some memorable events and some not worth remembering. Some events make me laugh my guts out while some well up my eyes. Yet it was 365 days filled with moments, good or bad but moments.

The last day of 2011, 31 December was not any different from the rest of the days. I came to work, the world was still rushing, people moving towards their destinations. So nothing was different about this day except that for me personally it was a day of introspection. A day when i recapitulated my past errs, felt like undoing them, vowing not to repeat them, making new promises to myself.  The world around seemed very excited about the year ending. Everyone seemed to make plans for the evening party. Yet I was in no mood to party this time. The strange question that was bothering me the whole day that why does the world party when there are so many unresolved issues in everyone's lives.

Since I could start up late for work, I found some time to just sit back and have a cup of tea sitting in the gallery of my apartment. Its then when I saw two children playing. The father of these two kids works as a watchman and mother does the household chores in the neighborhood. Most of the money they earn is spent for their alcohol consumption or for the other kind of intoxicants they are dependent on. Its then when I thought was this last day of the year or the coming new year of any meaning to this family. Not even the bar of candy I gave to those kids would bring any perpetual change in their lives.

At night, when the whole world was busy partying, I saw this pizza delivery boy driving just before midnight to deliver the pizza so that someone's party might go on well. The early morning of the new year showed me another petite old man cleaning the streets. These were just a few I might have seen. And there would be so many other lives untouched, unchanged with the changing dates on the calender. Yet finding solace in their everyday non changing lives. And I was still crying over the spilled milk, over the innumerable, insurmountable issues of my regularly changing life.