A recent discussion/debate with my dad about the most common and endorsed factor in the 'BIG FAT Indian Weddings' made me write my thoughts, doubts, questions in this note. The factor being Dowry or to put it in a more beautiful and less hateful term "Streedhan". Its a very common norm for the Indian parents of the bride to express their love and give their blessings to their princesses. Its justified for them to give that and its equally justified for the parents of the groom to demand that. Though a lot is spoken and read against this social stigma yet it is a nuisance that cannot be easily done away with. 

In the course of the discussion my parents tried to explain to me that its not wrong to give the Streedhan to their daughter because it is every parents dream and their duty. But then the question I ask myself is what is the need for that. In most of the modern/liberal Indian families (or in families where the biasedness for a male child doesnot exist), when a girl child is born the proud parents would weave the nest of their dreams, hopes and aspirations for their daughters just like any parent would do for a son. They leave no stone unturned to make sure they provide the best eduaction, care, support and love in the upbringing of their daughters. The daughters would be raised up with good values (sometimes making them learn how to be good future bahus) and they grow up making their parents proud at each growing stage. Yet when it comes to their marriage why do the proud parents need to lose their pride and give in for all the menial demands of the groom's side. Is it fault of being the parents of a Girlchild such a grave crime that they are required to stoop and let the groom's family break their neck. 

Well how can we blame them, when there is so much pressure to follow the norms of the society and hand over their priced possesion to safer hands. I never really understand what are the divine rights the groom's family are blessed with to shamelessly demand money. Are they trying to sell their son??? And was this son born with a price tag that makes them quote a price???? What is the need? Is their son and their family not self sufficient to feed one more member? (if not, why are the parents of the bride giving her away to such beggars)...Should n't it be the other way round that the groom must pay the girls side..He gets a good looking, educated girl who is ready to leave her family, friends, change as per him and his family, give birth to his offsprings, take care of him, his family, his children..Well all i see here is that its only the groom's side getting benefitted anyways..they are only gaining in this deal..and poor parents of the bride who are not only loosing their dutiful daughter to some unknown family , they need to pay a price for that.. 

The circle is vicious yet it goes on and on...I am sure it would go on with all the pressures....parents of the groom would demand shamelessly and poor parents of the bride would pay the price for the "happiness" of their princesses...God save India....